Well first off the good news before my rant. I did a lot of icing after yesterday's run and the legs feel good. After running around at the high school league track meet today and tomorrow, I'll really know just how good they are. I just want to be able to run again on Thursday. Now onto the rest of the story.
My mom and I had the argument the other day that we have every couple months. It's about my future and where I'm headed. When I lost my job in early 2009, I couldn't have been happier. I was thinking about quitting because I just didn't enjoy being an engineer and I still couldn't grasp the concepts. I was unable to relate the math with the real world situations that engineering required. I couldn't actually quit my job because I had no other options. Getting laid off was a big relief.
I prayed for God to lead me in the right direction. He brought me back to running a few months later and a few months after that I started working at a specialty sporting goods store in Philadelphia, City Sports. I enjoyed that job more than any other I ever had. It was simple with little pressure. I enjoyed interacting with fellow runners and athletes alike. I'm not necessarily the best salesman, but when it involves something I love, I can go on and on. It was also fun learning about all the new products. Of course the discounts on those products was nice too. The only problem was that it didn't pay much more than minimum wage.
That was the big problem and the starting point of my regular argument with my mom. I had to move home two years ago because I couldn't afford to live in Philadelphia on those wages. Unfortunately, I've had health problem since then and haven't been able to work at all. When I do get healthy enough to work, I plan on working in retail again. I'd love to work at Aardvark or the Finish Line. I might end up at the new Under Armour store, New Balance store or maybe one of the big box chain stores.
Of course my mom is mad that I left the world of decent pay and she feels my college education was a complete waste. She's also not thrilled I'm back home at 31. I get that. I just wish she'd get me. When I was an engineer, I was lazy and did enough work to get by. It's just hard for me to work hard on something I don't enjoy. On the other hand, it is hard to outwork me in my passions. I'm sort of an addict in that way. When I used to cover high school basketball for our website in my free time, I'd watch about 12 straights hours of games every weekend and then spend every spare moment writing about it. I must've worked 60 hours a week on this in addition to my regular job. That was all for no money and I ended up dishing out my own money to do that.
I took on running in the same way. I worked harder in my retail job than I ever did as an engineer. Of course I worked hard in my training too. Perhaps most important of all is what I have done with my free time during these unhealthy periods since I moved home. I've been getting involved in a ton of stuff. I've run with a bunch of different groups and began networking with a lot of people in the running community. I've written some about running, done photographing and I'm getting involved with the Lehigh Valley Road Runners as much as I can. Most importantly, I'm having fun doing it all.
I don't know where all this is going to end up. I might become a writer or photographer or a coach or maybe I'll even open up my own running store some day. The thing is I'm working towards giving myself options. I'm thinking that maybe I'll either do the photographing or coaching thing on the side in addition to working retail. That would give me the extra money that the retail job doesn't provide.
My mom doesn't get any of this though. She looks at it short term and says "you can't make a living doing that." I know it will be a struggle short term, but in the long run, I'll be successful. I'll put everything I have into my running endeavors. I just don't quite know yet what direction they will take me. Not only will I be successful, but more importantly I'll be happy in the end.
The other frustrating thing is that my mom acts like there are all these other great jobs out there. She's accepted that I'm not going back to engineering. Somehow she thinks that there are just all these great jobs that pay well and are just waiting for someone with no skills and no qualifications. Even if that was the case, I don't want to do something that I don't enjoy. I've had enough of that.
I'm in a position where I don't have a wife or kids, so it isn't like I need one of those jobs to support my family. I should even be able to support myself on near minimum wage now that I'm in an area that is cheaper to live. I won't be living the life of luxury, but that doesn't bother me.
My main goal is to be happy working and doing the things that I enjoy in life. If that is the case, I'll be able to give my all in it and it will lead me down a successful path. It won't happen overnight, but I'm in the right mindset now and will get to where I want to be. I just wish people would understand that. You'd thing the ones that know you for over 30 years would get that, but apparently not.
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